But if someone can't give you the unabashed respect and care you deserve, move on. She says we are all possible targets of being conned when we open ourselves up to others. I received compliments and gifts. Emotions don't need to be analyzed like data. They are not selfless and cannot imagine you gaining and watching you gain. He doesn't stroke your ego; he strokes your heart. Now that’s a hard pill to swallow. Don’t fall in love too fast: I’m often amazed at how quickly people go searching for love. A person who loves you supports you in being who you really are, flaws and all, but believes and supports you at being the best version of who you are. The con artist lies to get into your bed. Then one day…” This is how some people describe their relationship to an emotional con artist. That only allows you to make excuses and invalidate your judgement. You likely have been feeling feel fear, anger and sadness more often than you feel moments of joy. It dims colors, blurs lines, silences music and hardens our hearts. I — I want to be friends...". You begin to believe that this is really who they say they are. I know you are saying that you hate the games and just want to be real. The person who would finally never hurt you like you have been hurt in the past. Giselle Naidu has been a practicing psychologist for over 19 years with a particular interest in self-growth, development and increasing social connectivity, which are protect… Read full bio. Your con artists likes keeping you in an unhappy emotional state because you … Isolation and loneliness create a feeling of desperation, which can often make you search for a safe person who will never hurt you again. It’s like standing in front of someone naked and instead of honouring you, they shame you. Outsmarting con artists Stanford University psychologist Laura Carstensen has co-founded a research center aimed at preventing catastrophic incidents of financial fraud. Why not join the Elephant community, become an Elephriend. The emotional rollercoaster is an endless ride of anxiety. We focus on anything that's good for you, good for others, and good for our planet. It hinders everything the world has to offer. Con Artists and Their Marks How con artists exploit our tendency to overrate our intelligence and judgment. Konnikova says all con artists share some mixture of three traits: psychopathy, narcissism, and Machiavellianism. But, the tears never came, and I didn't grieve. Con artists, as predators, love to pounce on these opportunities of emotional vulnerability. I felt relief coursing through my body more than anything else. A relationship is simply supporting another person, giving him or her space when he or she needs it, enjoying his or her company and liking the person you are when you're with him or her. He trailed off as I walked farther and farther ahead of him on 59th Street. personal questions so they can find your emotional trigger. 4. The coward, however, is far more dangerous because he lies to get into your heart. He's smooth and suave, and he says all the right things. It was as if he thought he could just keep calling all the shots, and I'd go along as the cool girl, agreeing to whatever he suggested because I'm admittedly low-maintenance. We dated a few months then moved in together. I was giddy. Romantic and platonic bonds require the same amount of care, so any line cowards feed you about their hearts not being ready is moot if they have at least one friend. You never leave a relationship with an emotional con artist unscathed. It does not take long. "I think I'm going to head home now," he said. You can so easily be vulnerable and trust the space they offer. Welcome to elephant's ecosystem.