My 9 year old son is expressing a lot of dissatisfaction about having to miss out on his key events to visit his father. If it's at all possible try to sit down with him in a neutral, no-conflict way and share your concerns. Disclaimer - Legal information is not legal advice. Child support and visitation are two separate things, What to do when your child resists visitation. Would a judge order counseling if my son doesn't want to see me? Brette's Answer: Dear Linda, I know how difficult your situation is. Sometimes children go through stages where they don't want to go and have no good reason, but there could be a real problem. Ami's Question: My ex-husband was charged with emotional maltreatment of our 15-yr old daughter. She is still a minor and it's in her best interest to have two parents in her life. What is my responsibility in trying to force him to go? Our daughter was already in counseling at the time, but the counselor has refused to write a letter or appear in court over fears of being sued by my ex. You're caught in the middle - you want your son to have a relationship with his dad, but you don't want to become the bad guy by forcing him to go. If you have a written agreement that your daughter could choose to go or not, he doesn't have much to stand on to accuse you of custodial interference. Most kids have resistance to visitation at some point. Since emancipation makes the child a legal adult, an emancipated minor can refuse contact with his divorced parents. Your opinion is very important to the court. Depending on her age, try to find out what her objection is. By WomansDivorce.com | Updated May 29, 2019. A 17 year old will be prosecuted as an adult if charged with a crime. It's also very responsible of you to follow the court order - you don't want to find yourself in contempt of court. However, I have encouraged him to go anyway. Generally speaking, the Court will not force your 17-year old daughter to comply with the Court order for visitation, due to here age. A judge won’t be swayed by one parent’s argument that a toddler refused visitation. Stress that you really want them to spend time together and say you're hoping maybe together you can come up with a way for your daughter to feel more comfortable at his home or with him. When she was 7, she wanted a relationship with him and I reached out to him, only to be rejected. This article will explain how a child’s preference affects custody in Michigan. You have to either find a way to work with him or a way to convince a judge that he is not fit to take care of her. Im NOT going to stand out there in the middle of a public place for hours and hours. You need to discuss in detail what your concerns are with specific incidents. Is he saying bad things about you or your boyfriend? My children refuse to visit their father because they are afraid of him. We currently have shared custody and he is threatening to file for 50-50 custody. I wish you both the best of luck. He doesn't really have to because our son is refusing to be with me. I do not have control of his attendance when he is required to visit his father. Ideas for updating your look after divorce. My 14 year old triplet boys refuse to meet him and spend time with us as a couple. I've tried explaining to her that this might be a good thing for her to finally get to know her father, but she is very adamant about not wanting to meet him. And you can focus on helping your daughter cope with whatever outcome you have by having her see a counselor who can help her work through her feelings about her dad. Diane's Question: My daughter is 18 but still a senior in high school. Brette's Answer: I agree with you that it might be a good thing for her to get to know her father. Ask that a guardian ad litem be appointed to represent the children and their point of view so that the court can be made aware of why they don't want to go on visitation. MI My 17 year old daughter ran away from her Dad's house - - and came back to my house. This is not at all abnormal. He's likely to get nowhere. Phylenne's Question: Is there a law that protects a mom from being held responsible for the daughters' refusal to go with dad on visitation? Susan's Question: I have a custody agreement which puts me as primary care giver of my daughter. Is it hard to deal with school while going and back and forth like this? The courts lack jurisdiction over a 17-year-old runaway to force that runaway to return to their home; therefore, even if the police wanted to assist you, the courts have no power to keep your child in your home. He may also be having a typical teenage clash with his dad about rules or responsibilities. Is he encouraging them to go? You need to get an attorney. Specifically, MCL 712A.2 provides that the juvenile courts have power over a juvenile under 17 years of age when they desert their home. ... Can a parent refuse to allow visitation if child support is not paid? Victoria's Question: My parents are divorced and my dad and I don't get along. I worked with many families who were in similar situations to yours and I know how difficult and frustrating it is for you. Talk to your ex about the kinds of options I've suggested above. These are the kinds of issues that need to be addressed. • A court would weigh the importance of your son's activities against the importance that he stay connected to his father, and it's likely staying connected to his father is going to seem more important. We attended mediation and mutually agreed in writing that our daughter could choose when to go on visits. As kids get older, they sometimes resent how visitation seems to interrupt their plans. This leaves them wondering about the reasons for their resistance and what they can do about it. His lawyer said at the admit/deny hearing that it is their plan to lock me up at the hearing and pick up my daughters. Him and his father have a horrid relationship. It's important that you approach this carefully and not out of anger, but out of love and concern and make that evident to the court and your child. • Can you get in legal trouble if your child refuses visitation? My son wants to see his dad but there are times he doesn't want to go from Friday-Monday. What if my child doesn't want to visit her abusive father? The court handling each individual visitation case has significant flexibility in determining what arrangement is in the child's best interests. Learn how to save time, money, and turmoil. he refuses. Get Expert Advice About Divorce and Custody! Most judges realize that a parenting plan that worked for a two-year-old won’t usually work for a 10-year old, and a custody agreement made when a child was 10 doesn’t necessarily fit the lifestyle of a 16-year-old. However, whether you like it or not he is your dad and will be for the rest of your life. The decision is never completely up to the child. Would the judge at least order counseling for my son and me? Show him you want to make it work. However, the child also takes on the responsibility to support himself financially. She doesn't want to as she is not comfortable with him as he drinks a lot. I would also suggest you try to talk to your ex yourself and tell him you're on his side and you want your son to go, but that he is at an age where forcing him to go is just going to cause resentment. You could also find out what about the visitation it is that he doesn't like. If you are on a personal connection, like at home, you can run an anti-virus scan on your device to make sure it is not infected with malware. Sometimes, the child’s opinion on custody can get lost in the process. Would they benefit from a little more stability? Does my daughter still have to see him? Brette's Answer: There is no law about this. He has previously used his own flesh and blood for sex for his buddies in the past. First of all, you need to know your daughter is not the first and certainly won't be the last teenager who disagrees with a visitation plan. Can he force visitation if my almost 18 year old doesn't know him? I have to represent myself because I haven't found a lawyer who has time for our case. I think your attorney ought to be communicating the situation to your ex's attorney - that would be the easiest way to resolve this.